jessymessy.com the blog of Jessy

I have funny story

This is the last time I’m going to post about being sick, I swear. It’s not even really about being sick, just a funny story that is only funny based upon the fact that I was, you know, sick.

So on Saturday I felt HORRIBLE. I think I established that in my last post. What I didn’t establish was we were out of meds. And I needed these meds.

I was going to wait for my mom to pick up some nyquil/dayquil for me after she got off of work, but then my brother really wanted to go to his friends house. And since he doesn’t drive and is good at guilt tripping me, I of course had to agree to take him. But not before striking a bargain. I proposed that he run into the grocery store and get some meds for me, and then I would drive him to his friends house. This got me meds about three hours earlier then scheduled, so I was happy.

I dropped him off at the grocery store, and he ran in. While waiting I found a cozy little spot to idle my car in. After a few minutes, the cell rings (first 20 seconds of Basket Case- Green Day). It’s Daniel. The employee checking him out needs ID to sell this type of over the counter medication. Not to mention your ID needs to state that you are 18 years of age. Daniel is only 16, and he doesn’t have an ID.

SO.

With my Dr. Pepper pyjama bottoms, NSYNC band shirt (from when I was 11), and unbrushed hair, I ran into the store. I was not happy with this outcome.

I suppose I am thankful that I threw on a hoodie and switched my slippers for flats before I left (thank GOD!). I can only hope that it disguised the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra!

I’m sure this lady felt super bad about making me come in, because I know I looked bad… my attire only enforced that view.

I had to actually give her my ID so she could enter what I can only assume was my driver’s license number into the computer. Age verified and meds paid for, I was free to leave the store.

I fumble for my keys only to realize that they aren’t in my purse.

Then I remember: I left them in the effing ignition! I had turned the car off at some point while waiting for Daniel, and when he called me I jumped out of the car completely oblivious. I would like to say that I only did this because I was sick and delirious with desire for meds, but I have done this before. I counted four times, not including Saturday. Go me.

But because I have done this before, I did happen to have one of those plastic key things, so I was able to get into the car with no problem.

Three of the times I have left the key in the ignition were at school. And I have good reason! All three times I got to school early. All three times I decided to turn the car off and study, read, whatever, until I had to go to class. All three times I forgot the key was in the ignition, and left the car.

The fourth time I was just locked out of my car. It was last December just before my Dad’s birthday. I was sneaking into his house to make sure his TV had a slot for an HDMI cable (it didn’t) for the new DVD player I got him. When I was done checking, I left the house, locking the door behind me, completely unaware that I had left my keys on the floor in front of the TV. I should be blonde, I swear. It was only about twenty minutes until he was supposed to get home from work, and I was hyperventilating. After a quick call to my mom, I was able to come up with a cover story: I came to his house to get one of my car’s tires filled with air (he has an air thingy), but when I went inside the house I felt weird being in there alone without him, so I decided to leave. But when I left, I forgot my keys and couldn’t sit in my car.

Good story, huh? Especially since my tire really was low. I still had another problem, though. I had parked in the driveway, completely blocking access to his garage. I would never do that if I was planning on waiting for him, he knows that, and might have gotten suspicious. So I broke out my holy plastic key and decided to see if it would turn my car on. IT DID. So I reversed out of the garage and parked in front of his house.

Lucky for me, he totally bought my story. I got my tire filled and my keys back, but he’ll probably notice the next time I’m lying… generally I’m a good child. I’m not sneaky, I don’t lie, I don’t get in trouble. I’m almost borderline perfect (kidding). I am, however, a horrible liar. I actually couldn’t believe he swallowed my story without any doubt, but like I said, now that he knows I am capable of lying, he may catch me next time.

Wow, I just wrote 880 words! This was meant to be a short post. I actually almost always try to keep my posts short, but it’s obvious that I’m totally incapable of writing and keeping it short. I feel the need to share everything, go into gross detail and go into tangents that I never meant to explore. Like in this instance, I never meant to share the four times I was locked out of my car. But hey, it happened in a moment of epiphany, and now you know.

So have you ever been locked out of your car? Or better yet, have you ever had to go into a grocery store unplanned while clothed in inappropriate attire, possibly sick, and/or feeling like crap?

Tell, tell, tell!

Read more >> Options >>